Skip to main content

Irreversible

I drowned,  drowned in the bottomless pit of insolent absurdities.  My melancholy had come to life with my death. Not literally nor a pretentious metaphor, I guess it was a shade of grey. A new shade for me. A shade I didn't know existed but was brought into existence for me. Faint memories, chaotic fragments, perplexed state of my mind - all these were supposed to entangle my head when death knocked at my door. Well fate planned something else entirely.
Life on auto-tune,  that's what it was. I had direction. I had just one job, to take one step after another. How difficult could it have been. Not that difficult perhaps. Perhaps it was that difficult and I was delusional. Love,  sex,  drugs, the LSD of the millennial generation, I for once am or for this story's sake was, satiable.
Wonder not why I speak with such morose for these events have already taken place. They are beyond my control. I merely danced on the piper's tunes. Did my job right.
Ended where I was supposed to.
She showed me her world. Her firmament, rudimentary for her life, ancillary to mine. I drowned not in love but because of it. It was her love. Maybe if I had a couple of breaths remaining it would have been my love too. Grabbing my hand she flapped her fins, leaving a riptide behind us. White hair braided with the elements of the water world, sand on her face sparkled. Sharp teeth like a million pins, she had the most precious smile to cover it up. She was pointing out to things, rocks and fishes. She knew them well. Being a mermaid, breathing for her was easy. For me the struggle grew every moment.
I sat on the wreckage of 'Poseidon', my ship.
All the goods floating among my still, floating comrades. I was there, partially pondering over my life and my near death simultaneously seeking hope. Partially I was reading, reading the glyphs the sun wrote on the waves. But something shined brighter than the sun. Its fish-scaled skin blessed the sunlight with a million colours. Gazes met, minutes passed, all I wondered was -what are you? Probably cannot say the same for her or I should say It. Slowly it moved, skimmed the water underneath, pushed its magnificent body towards me. As the distance between us decreased, my heartbeat raced. Time slowed and my senses heightened. Adrenaline maybe or just the thrill of adventure. Nevertheless this day had become a lot more interesting. Well certainly because little did I know I was going to die today.
She continued skirming through the dark deep waters where the rays of the sun dare not be spotted. She seemed to think I was enjoying this nascent surreal dream. I couldn't see what she tried to show or hear what she wanted to say. Her teeth and fins chilled my bones but her eyes grasped my soul, smothered it to a state of calm. Or maybe I was giving up, letting go, leaving behind my own welkin because I had no energy to break free. I was exhausted. She loved me. How do I know this? Only Love in its innocent cruelty can blind a lover. I was the one who couldn't see in those dark waters but she was the blind one. Too blind to see my puffed veins, too blind to see my finals breaths morphing into effervescence, too blind to see, I was dying. Oh but how beautiful she was. Every moment not spent fighting for my life was spent in awestruck sensations. How I hoped I'd have met her under different circumstances. Bizarre it may sound but its a dead man's tale isn't it? I dreamt of myself with fins and gills and scales. Perplexed emotions bruised me more for I wanted to live a little to tell her how gorgeous I found the mistress of the sea and I was ready to die. I would die with her image in my head. Not the whole life-flashing-in-front-of-me clichéd scenario but the scenario where the unknown  undiscovered, wickedly exquisite maiden shall love me and bid me farewell.
These words don't thrive in utter melancholy but a muse of acceptance. It is my predestination. My journey is irreversible. A car with a pre-set path and phony steering wheel with automated controls. And all to explore and discover something heretics would teach or sages would scribble in their holy pages. The story of a merchant who unknowingly seduced a mermaid. A mermaid so captivated by the merchants love, breathing new life into herself, cursed by wretched love to lose her senses and forget- even lovers drown.
I sit by the wreckage of Poseidon reading the glyphs the sun writes on the waves.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lavender

Lost in subconscious absurdity Closet filled with broken toys and misfit clothes Stories withheld, buried beneath a stranger's tombstone Stacked records of songs by beloved artists Too sad to remember, too valuable to forget Unreleased paparazzi images of hopeful regret Shards of laughter published with humble criticism piercing Into the chinks of an overconfident armor used In a ludicrous battle to achieve A Pyrrhic victory Sitting on a two-legged chair balanced on a tight rope tied to one pole held so tight but no one to support the other Contemplating whether the fall is worth the flight Whether the hooks and jabs are enough fr the fight Darkness absorbing light, reflecting darkness Touch Jitters on fingertips, sliding, covering the palm Slid betwixt the fingers, pressed down hard, jerk pulled arm Held hard for a startled sprint and a hesitant thrust Strange how shoe-laces unravel themselves and Earphones automatically intertwine only to entangle Guess...
29 comments
Read more

In My Place

Helpless is what I feel, is what I am, You Smothered in deceit and willful anguish Buried six feet under own blood skin With just enough room to breathe Enough to tear up, enough to tear apart Digesting lovers, kiss by kiss, Wriggling in shackles, movement Too subtle to the ones around I saw you. Helpless is how I watch, is how I console, You Hanging by rope, hope-woven Choking a withering tree whose roots yearn affection Mum with pride, like you never lost a war Won’t bend but crumble, falling pieces extinguish silence Too faint to the ones around I heard you. Helpless in words I speak, in when I touch, You Bread crumb trail amidst woeful boulevard False power and prudence and pride and joy, this shell Inanimate character breathed to an exhausting life Stretched hands reaching in the flickering dark, touch Too weak to the ones around I felt you. Been through the worst, worse is on its way Helpless I am and helpless I come to you...
34 comments
Read more

The Creator's Dilemma

You stand up there, neck bent so condescending The idols, the pictures, all the hymns and bhajans, I pity you Think you the master, me the puppet, rattle your fingers you make me dance? Oh almighty, in all thy grace and redemption, you forget You are my creation I look at you, not condescending, but disappointed, broken, The rustling nature's golden bosom, where you steal life daily The elements, the senses, I'm all and all is mine The edge of the blade that cuts through emotion, a mother's prayer and a child's hope, Redeem you I shall for You are my creation  Created you me, distracted, naive and careless Brother stab brother, bleed the river dry, colored men not breed nor flourish stand shoulder to shoulder Lies, greed, misery, man but a glitch here, fighting to live together, winner stands alone he lacks wisdom What were you thinking? The cold seed of destruction, boiling, stirring your cauldron - dearth and gold, polished sedans and scarred naked ...
1 comment
Read more